im stacking extension cords on each other like theyre tinker toys. constructing a tower of babel in the name of the god of electricity. there’ll be at least 100 outlets when ive hooked these boys up nice and good. ill never run out again
nothing more satisfiying than this. really sates that primal urge to Plug Things In. but you know i think we can take this even further
Hey kids here’s a piece of actual for real experienced adult advice: don’t make songs you like your alarm. Ever. You’re gonna Pavlov yourself into hating it or sleep through it and have weird dreams. Don’t do that to yourself. Seriously.
I’m glad the notes on this post have turned around from people going “I am the exception I love music I will never die” but some of you have made some truly unhinged choices about what to set your alarm. Why was it the Seinfeld theme in the first place.
Your experiences are not universal but I wish they were. You’re adorable. I want your life.
For reasons I cannot now explain, I spent a solid two years with Muse’s The 2nd Law: Unsustainable as my alarm.
I once had a cd player alarm lock and the only cd on me was a Disney greatest hits. If I wanted a gentle awakening, A Whole New World. If I wanted to be violently catapulted into the realm of the living while simultaneously having a thousand heart attacks, Circle of Life.
i dont care about hp at all but two things that fucked me up was someone telling me that he didn’t perform one spell in the entire first film and also he was the only student with glasses in the entire series
I got an A and a special acknowledgment from my religious studies professor for an essay on how the hogwarts sorting hat ceremony was a ritual of male birth envy in which dumbledore gives birth to the new students
you gotta explain that one buddy
the essay has been lost to time, but the gist of it was:
dumbledore is seated on a raised chair above the students, reminiscent of a mother in a birthing chair and stirrups
the sorting hat engulfs the whole head like the vaginal canal, the students see only darkness, they hear a strange voice speaking to them
they only emerge (are birthed) once their identity has been “decided” (they are granted a soul)
they blink in the bright lights, confused and sometimes crying, amidst cheers, celebration, etc
mcgonagall leads the new students into the hall, but once the sorting hat ceremony begins, dumbledore takes over, she doesn’t speak, she is not mentioned again until the next chapter, and neither is any other woman
every time my bf says “for the time being” i respond with “for the time bean” and then we say “all hail the time bean” and carry on the conversation like nothing happened
therapy is such a scam. all you need to do is buy a 5'6 zweihänder and swing it around your home now and then to feel better. been doing it for years and im the very picture of good mental health
Sometimes I remember that “I’m so fucking normal right now” is a line from disco elysium. like that’s such a sentence from a tumblr post to me but no. harry du bois said that. out loud. he would do numbers on here
